***************************** * AIR IN THE PARAGRAPH LINE * ***************************** A Journal of Jon Konrath's life, etc. Issue 6/August 1996 The Minimalist Issue I've become so apathetic, I don't even want to get up and use the computer. I mastered all of this issue in one pass on a legal pad while half-asleep in bed, and never mailed out hard copies to anyone because I'm out of stamps. Sorry. Let me summarize what's up. First, this. I've been thinking of killing the zine. Maybe I will. But I needed to get something out so people didn't think I died. There are few things that have hampered my productivity since July. They are: a) Went home. Went to Bloomington. Got depressed. b) Met girl. Everything went wrong. Got depressed. c) Went to dentist since first time since 1989. d) It's damn hot here. Let me explain these four points: First, I went home for my mom's wedding. I'll summarize, to avoid boredom and potential lawsuits. I rented a nice car (Corolla), saw my friend Jia, drove from O'Hare to South Bend (160 miles) in 1 hr 26 minutes. Stayed at the Ray Miller house of nun sodomy. Met Ray's new girlfriend (not a nun, and he hasn't sodomized her, but he's working on it). Saw my dad. Didn't see my mom except at the ceremony for about 15 minutes. Got the fuck out of there when they started squaredancing. Drove to Bloomington. Saw Tom Sample in Indy on the way down and saw the inside of the Vogue. Saw Suzanne the Morbid Chick. Her room has blue walls and a Bjork poster. Went with her to White Castle. Told the person at the counter "I came all the way from Seattle to eat here" and they said "I'm sorry". Saw some more of campus including my old house at Colonial Crest and my old place on Mitchell. Hung out with my man Steve Simms, went to the Showalter fountain and drove around. Went to the home of Simms which used to be the home of Simms and Konrath. Slept on my old couch. Saw a lot of my old stuff I left behind at the house and felt freaky. Went to Mr. D's the next morning and saw Michelle Stasy. Drove to Chicago and flew home. Why was Bloomington depressing? I miss the place. I love Seattle, but Bloomington in the summer means my first book, reckless abandon, 10,000 fine 18-24 year old single women in shorts, cool places to hang out, and a certain intimacy that Seattle doesn't offer. And now, summer is just another 3 months of the year. It's no longer a vacation or a break between two periods of work. Now it's just different weather outside the office window. I've grown up. Sigh... Part two, the girl. This summary is easy. We emailed and she seemed cool. I went to her place, we hang out, ate food, watched a film. It seemed comfortable, a bit awkward, but cool. I never heard from her again. I emailed, no answer. I called, and always got the machine. I went into a tailspin of self-loathing, depression, and recollection of every bad feeling I could think of with regard to dating. My friend Jennifer hit me in the head with a brick and told me a billion reasons I should be pissed at her or the world and not me, and told me to go drink ripple and read Screw magazine or something. I'm somewhat better now, but I'm still unsure about the whole relationship thing and quickly approaching my third year of singularity, so prospects seem grim there. The dentist. I won't get into details here, that's going to be in the next issue. But he set me up with 4 more appointments, so you know there will be some construction in the future. And the heat. Top floor apartments with no air conditioning suck in the summer. Showering 3 times a day is required in this place in July. HAUKU: Punk rock girl, red hair leather jacket from nordstrom jack boots from the gap I kill nuns he said. Want to buy a frozen corpse? No thanks, I just quit. 49152 C triple zero, in hex fuck man, I'm a geek OTHER STUFF: I'm currently wavering between edits of _Summer Rain_ and _Rumored to Exist_. _Rain_ was divided from 12 long chapters into 45 small chapters grouped into 3 books. More readable, more editable... I'm writing more on _Rumored_ now, getting into some weird, fucked up additions and the edits are going golden. I like what's happening, and hope others will too. As for the format in this newsletter - I'm typing this thing in a month late. This is a "limited" edition in the sense that I didn't have much to report, was too depressed to report it, and didn't have creative new content with the books and everything else eating at my time. I also don't have a photocopier anymore and can't afford to print $40 of copies and then buy $20 of stamps when only 3 or 4 people regularly send me trades or comments on the issues. So I guess this is becoming more of an e-zine, which I hate, but we'll see what happens. BOOKS: Been re-reading Bukowski. _Pulp_, _Post Office_, _Women_, _Factotum_. All are excellent, check them out if you haven't already. Also, Mark Leyner is a fucking genius. Check out _My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist_ if you get a chance. ZINES: 59 Cents Send 2 stamps, 20 pp, great articles and funny stuff. c/o Jam Records POB 19806 Seattle WA 98109 Metal Curse Send $3 for more metal reviews than you'll ever POB 302 see in your life. Plus writing by yours truly! Elkhart, IN 46515-0302 Perezvon Plays Dead c/o Daniel Lots of great rants, life, in poverty, 219 1st ave N #c humor, and good cartoons. Well done! Seattle, WA 98109 46 pp digest only $2 Milky Zine VERY well done, well laid out, great art, slick cover. 614 E Union #102 Excellent, funny articles, only $2 and worth every penny! Seattle WA 98122 I was going to put a crossword puzzle here, but they are impossible to draw using - and | and all of that shit. Sorry. It wasn't that great of a puzzle anyway. Thanks for putting up with this shit. I'll try better next time, or maybe I won't. Colophon: I wrote all of this with a Pilot pen on a stolen legal pad while listening to Miles Davis: _Bitches Brew_ CD 1. I typed it in using emacs. No Microsoft stuff was used. Those guys are icky. Send stuff to: Jon Konrath 206 343 5604 (home) 600 7th Ave #520 206 217 7811 (work) Seattle, WA 98104 http://www.speakeasy.org/~jkonrath Copyright (C) 1996 by Jon Konrath. All Rights Reserved. Air in the Paragraph line is always changing. Send ideas, stuff for review, etc etc. Hardcopy and back issues are a buck and/or postage, or trade. I try to publish every month, but you know how that goes. Thanks to Ray, Tim, Simms, A, Sestrick, Jia, and the Coca-Cola Company. No thanks to Issaquah Ford.