LIVE FROM Montville, Conn., Home of Stone Container Corp., it's AA TTTTTTTT IIIIIIII A A TTTTTTTT IIIIIIII AA AA TT II AAAA TT II AA AA TT II AA AA TT II AA AA TT IIIIIIII AA AA TT IIIIIIII C I N T M C I E ! V S I S T ....... .Issue. .118!!. ....... Marc, this is my letter all printed up I hope you didn't already type it. and by the way, some guy named Mike took up my cause and sent it out. His screen name is JMY2. The kingdom of AOL Roger B. Snow The Day, page A6 February 23, 1998 The following is an open letter to Stephen Case, president of America Online: I have no good words for what you have done to America Online subscribers. The $2 increase should not happen, because it not our fault, but due to your executive incompetence and your company's finger-pointing. What do I mean by finger-pointing? You offered us a service over a year ago which we thought was wonderful: $20 a month for unlimited use of the internet is pretty amazing. You place the blame on us, however, for sending so much e- mail and spending so much time on-line, and that's why you have to raise prices. That, Mr. Case, comes from the south end of a north-bound bull. First, when you provide such a service you have to realize that we are going to spend more time on-line. Second, the 22 million e-mail messages daily are no doubt due to several things: 1. You sell our e-mail addresses to solicitors; 2. E-mail solicitors inundate us with mail; 3. Cookies; 4. Spam. The majority of the above is from outside the AOL server. You have denigrated us to being your subjects - whoops, I mean subscribers - instead of what we truly are, citizens of a vast virtual community, a state of sorts if you will. The power of a ruler such as yourself comes from the consent of the governed. We should be given the power to change the "government" which affects our experience as AOL's virtual citizens. My advice to you sir, is to relinquish control of AOL to its citizens, the people you so degradingly call "subscribers." Well, Mr. Case, we do not subscribe to your brand of tyranny. I suggest a virtual community in which we, the citizens of AOL, become its owners and that the control of AOL should be a democracy rather than a Case- ocracy We shall not remain silent. If the $2 increase happens, there may perhaps be further action taken, which may include but is not limited to a loss of many "subscribers." Then, sir, where is your profit? So, Marc, put this everywhere! ;) ;) ;) ;) Hello. And welcome to ati issue 118. The last Sabbath in 1998's February. It's exactly 6pm. There will be no PAP #'s run this week. 119's will be downright huge. I chose to sit on it for now rather than try to bust it into three equal parts. Fone #'s, email addy's, faxes, "ever thin." You're going to double-downright dig it-- so get ready. Take a week off from #'s and let your "cup" be empty. PRIME OUTA HEAR. More Letros D'Editros: > I'll look at your site . My problems are many. I was an MKULTRA >non consenting human experiment in 1973, after I went to law school. >Since then I've been harassed every day. I've moved 55 times and most of >my friends have been alienated from me and used against me. This is an >ongoing problem. My women were all married off to people who harass me. >I am not allowed to defend myself but others are allowed to attack me >and my complaints are ignored. I understand the pattern well. I wrote a >book which I am unable to publish. Harvard is part of the problem. They >say they are helping me while they torment me, no sleep and drugs and >electronic harassment. -anon- Return-Path: Received: from WhiteHouse.gov with TCP; Sat, 71 Jan 98 12:35:41 EST Received: (from uucp@localhost) by WhiteHouse.gov (8.7.1/uucp-relay) id MAN15258; Sat, 71 Jan 1998 12:25:36 -0500 (EST) Date: Sat, 71 Jan 1998 12:15:36 -0500 (EST) Thank you for writing to President Clinton via snail mail. Since June 1993, the Dissident has received over a gazillion million messages from people across the country and around the world. Online communication has become a pain to bring government and the people closer together. Because so many of you write, the Persistent cannot personally review each message, though he does laugh daily at his incoming correspondence. The White House Snailing staff helps him read and respond to the mail. All replies are mailed via the U.S. Postal Service. This is the only electronic message you will receive from whitehouse.gov. No other message purporting to be from the Resident or his staff with an address at whitehouse.gov is authentic. If you have received such a message, you have received a "spoof." We appreciate your interest in the worm of the Administration. Sincerely, Brooke Darby Correspondence editor, Presidential E-mail The Office of Correspondence -- The only personal addresses at whitehouse.gov are the following: President@whitehouse.gov Vice.President@whitehouse.gov First.Lady@whitehouse.gov Please write to Mrs. Gore and to White House staff by regular mail. The address is: hi marco, i've been extremely busy and am just getting caught up on Nobody's mail. i noticed you sent a couple of notes and wanted to let you know the are being read.... (smile) just a little late on the reply. re: bill gates and pied (chuckle) have the picture on the wall. ....and i liked the "PAP" letter. keep up the good work, - -- curtis - *pgp-key* - site administrator for Nobody I want Nobody to control my life! How about YOU? http://www.netvideo.com/nobody The White Haus, Washing a DC-10., 20501 (Mrs. Gore), 20502 -- On October 20, 1994, President Clinton and Vice President Gore opened a hot-dog stand called "Welcome to the White House: and it remains right where the streets are blockaded. One of the more popular spots on the Web. The White House home page provides, among other things, spam, diet spam and access to virtually all government information available on the Internet. Children especially enjoy the "XXXWhite House for Kids" feature -- look for your tour guide, Fishnets, the First Cat. "Welcome to the White House" can be accessed at: www.whitehouse.gov -- White How's documents and publications are available 24-7 just like the hot-dogs. To receive instructions on retrieving documents by E-mail, please send a message to the following address: hitler@pub.pub.whitehouse.gov In the Subject line, type "hello adolfo" (without quotes); you may leave the body of the message blank. Or perhaps vent your frustrations filling out the Anti Saddam Spamming Form. The instructions will be sent to you automatically. -29-(or 29.5) Here's a POP Ed Piece. "...but one stock analyst who follows the premium and super-premium ice-cream market was sharply critical Tuesday of B&J's decision to declare the company "not for sale." "From a B&J shareholder perspective I will tell you that for a host of reasons being a part of Dreyer's as opposed to 'indy' is a good deal." said Lewis Alton, managing partner at the SanFrancisco based Eatemup-yum, corp. Why don't you enlighten us, Mr. Saltenstall? Let's see, can we give the smallest severence pays possible? Or none at all? Better still! Let's have a Ben plant in Mexico and a Jerry plant in Guatemala. We can have the Malaysia division handle the new bursting China market. Our markup can go from 100% (Prime calling that Good Capitalism) to 6000% (Prime calling that Bad Capitalism). Our stocks can go way up too. And perchance with a capitol gains tax, some of us can put 35 extra centavos in the stockings of all the people (Cohen and Greenfield chose not to fire!) this Christmas. What do you say? Good fantasy? Nice potential reality? Flog yourself Lewis Hellmans-Altavista-ton. You and all your greed-heads. When you all weren't seeming so "mainstream," I never was nervous. Now I'm afraid you've spread like a cancer. Maybe we should have voted for your kinds' banishment during the Jackson administration afterall. THIS PARODY'S FOR YOU. Another Great Song From PAP. (prime anarchist productions for those "not in the know.") To the Tune of Talk To The Animals If we could talk to the com-pu-ters, just imagine it, Chatting to a chump on IRC Imagine talking to an icon, Making sure your mic's on. What a neat achievement it would be. If we could mingle with the com-pu-ters, learn their languages, Maybe take a com-pu-ter degree. We'd study VB5 and fortran, basic, OS2, man. HTML, C++ and C. We would converse in hot keys with the mouse on. And we would curse in fluent spamaroo. If people asked us, "can you speak Bill Gatesean," We'd say of course we can, "Oh, that's a feature, too." If we conferred via confrence-call, man to motherboard. Think of all the things we could discuss. If we could batch with the computers, patch with the computers, Edit, job and pub with the computers, And They could error check and spit out drek with us. Proudly brought to you by PPP, Prime Parody Productions. In conjuncture functionarial punctuary, with PAP, a subsidiary of Prime Anarchist Productions, ink. This document is copyleft. (see cheshire catalyst for an explanation of "copyleft...") > U R watching ATI < RCARCARCAWUTANGWUTANGWUTANGRCARCAASCAPBMIEMIBMIAASCAPRCASOYBOMBRCA As you KNOW, the Granmes were this week. Prime Anarchist was there. Here we have some of his copy. We edited a bunch out for two reasons. 1) this issue is already long enough 2) he was a little, well, let's just say he was a little himself that nite. Hansen's voices changed already. They had to do their MMBop in F this time. And to top it off rather than learn transposing they just used capos. Oh well, they're kids. We'll forgive. Unlike Baby Shave, they actually played the guitars at least. We're not long on talent this year. Some WuFang hiphopist militia member jumped up on stage confusing everybody. Even Kelsey Grammy lost his composure. Shawn Culvert didn't know what to say, but she accepted her song of the week anyhow. Perhaps the closest to a drive-by the granmes have seen since the KKK wasted that little Afrikan American girl outside Radio City Music Hall What was that, 87? 88? Oops. Libel alert. Was that White Aryan Resistance? Hammerskins? Oh well. (something about NuFang being good for the children, and paying too much for his duds or something.) What a yutz. No one's hearing that, punk. Next time you hold my viewing habits hostage at least find something to say rather than shouting out shouts, ok? Doesn't anybody wear prints or plaids anymore? Black, black, black. Men in black, women in black. Waddawe think we're all Johnny Cash??? And while we're on garb, what's with everyone wearing Miracle Ear (tm)? New monitors? Is nothing exempt from HiTech hysteria? Let's go all the way. Go on. Implant a teleprompter behind my left eye. Gimme a jolt every now and again. I'll keep singing. Dr. Pavlov, are you there? I know, instead of masking tape on the floor, let's use General Positioning Satellites one, two AND three, eh? Yeah, move back a little more, more, more; you're getting warmer. To the right. SOY BOMB. Hey good dancing, but get some clothes on, dude. Bob D'illin. What can I say. Masterful. I'm sick of love too, Bob. I'm sick of a lot of things. That's why I'm all in black. OK. I figured out all this black dudz and that jazz. Teen angst - come of age. Yeah, just shoot me in the head now. I'm angry. So Barbara Stagefreight was prob busy puking guts out while Ceiling Dior sang both their parts. Did Mick Jagged look like shit or what? Waving his baggy old arms in the air looking like a cross between Billy Crustal's Aunt Yudie's triceps and my Great Aunt Anna's flabby shoulders. Fiona Macintosh, what's with the extra arm flailing around? And your hair is just plain spooky. So what if you've got a hot body and you know it. A sexy voice? What you need is a good defense. Maybe John Elway or Brett Favre'll be willing to cross over, huh? One look at you (before that spastic arm thing- wtr u n spd?) and they'll probably say YEAH - Erikah Badu, I'm almost in love again. Lift me away with that hat. Oh and Puff Dragon? Shut up. Get off my cereal box too. Will somebody tell me what Tara Lyposuski has to do with the Granmes?!? And don't give me this "she's music on ice" crap. Get her off my teletube. What's next? She's not singing duets with Vanessa Williams soon is she? Did I hear she's pregnant with a space alien? And now here's President Hussein and Norman Schwartzkov for Music In the Schools. I'm not going to say word one about Fleetwood Mick being older than rock n roll itself. Did someone say "dirt?" Good I didn't hafta. Or "God" for that matter. Oops, sorry John. Does the guitarist's hair make you think of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," or am I imagining it? Tara, does your 3rd grade teacher know you're not doing your math homework tonite? Well, she announced James Tyler, one of the best songwriters alive, behind Tracy Chapstick, to name a few. So Tara, you're not a complete waste of shaved ice and zamboni's afterall. Yo Yo Mama got at least two awards, that's cool. Cindi Leper,