======================================================================== Addendum URL: http://www.adden.tr.cx/ Issue# 51 : Say no to Star Wars - Part 3: Top Ten Lists 18th May 2002 Author: Steak ======================================================================== I have recently come across an Anti Star Trek site, proof again that humans can be stupid, But the main thing I found was a top ten list as to why he thinks that star wars is better than star trek, so a final chapter to the say no to star wars issues I will totally debunk everything he has said, after which I will write my own top ten list. Anything prefixed with a [S] is written by me. 10: Two words: John Williams. [S] This is the only time I will let him get away with this, yes john Williams is very talented, however this is less to do with star wars but with the actual man, John Williams. So it really isn't a applicable argument. But saying that star trek have Jerry Goldsmith, who has worked on such well known and entertaining films such as aliens, Hollow Man, The Mummy and Air Force One 9: The guns used in Star Wars are real English Sterling machine guns and German Mausers...not dust busters! [S] I will have to watch star wars again, last time I checked the guns were not actual real machine guns. They had plastic resin around them, and also last time I checked star trek did not use dust busters as phasers, but instead created whole new weapons, including ways to hold them. They used original ideas, and didn't just copy present weapons. 8: Ten Forward doesn't have a cool Bith band! (Heck--they couldn't even get Max Rebo to play there!) [S] No they don't have a Bith band, they have huge windows looking out into the great unknown ahead of the ships, out into the blackness of space so you can watch the stars and the planets go by, a truly breath taking site, also any astronomical phenomenon discovered can be seen by the rest of the crew out these windows, I know which one I would rather look at. Also as a side line the enterprises computers can play you any music you like at what ever volume you like, no band can do that. 7: Grand Admiral Thrawn could have defeated the Borg at Wolf 359! [S] I tend to disagree, the Borg can scoop up entire colonies in one go that is no match for any ship. 6: Star Trek's bald captain--covered in cybernetics--was only the spokesmind for the Borg. Lando's bald right-hand man, with just a cool walkman on his head, had the entirety of Cloud City at his every command. [S] If you watch the next generation you will see that captain Picard saved the entire human race a number of times, something that nobody else I know could do (even if they had a walkman) 5: "Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith" sounds cooler than "Captain Jean-Luc Picard." [S] I don't agree, "Dark Lord of the Sith" sounds very poxy and tryhard-ish, if I walked into a post office and said wrote my name as Picard and you wrote your name as 'Darth Vader Dark Lord of the Sith' I know who would get the strange looks 4: Imperial and rebel uniforms actually have POCKETS! [S] Watch enterprise, those uniforms have pockets, and by the 24th century you don't need pockets, everything can be secured to your uniform as if by magic (like com badges, phasers, tricorders etc) 3: The Federation has ships named Voyager, Reliant, and Enterprise... the Empire has ships named Devastator, Avenger, and Executor! [S] I'm sure Starfleet could name there ships the "USS big bloody white thing that’s going to kick your ass if you don't get out of the way of it" if they wanted to but they are not as presumptuous as that 2: Star Trek robots can not use contractions and have trouble with emotions. Star Wars robots can speak over 6 million forms of communication fluently and whistle to themselves just because they're in the mood too. [S] Star Trek robots create many heart rendering stories about mans inhumanity to machine, much the same as the book "I Robot" by Isac Asimov. Having a machine that can do everything and cook your toast to is just no fun, that’s what a tricorder is for. And it is only one robot that cannot use contractions, many that have been shown can, and often will. As for whistling, well I don't really need to say anything about that it should be obvious And the Number 1 Reason Why STAR WARS Is Better: Captain Picard only cried like a baby in a vineyard after becoming evil and then returning to the forces of Good. Anakin Skywalker kicked the Supreme Ruler of the Galaxy's ass! [S] You mean captain Picard had morals and cared for the fact that he had gone against everything he had ever believed in, your dark lord didn't give a shit, because he was always a barstard and didn't know any better ---- So without further a do I present you with The top ten reasons why star trek is better than star wars, and I will not let myself lap into reasons like weapons, star ship names and pockets but actual worth while reasons. 10. The Borg are a much greater and dramatic enemy than some guy in a black head and mask, knowing that you will soon loose your individuality and become nothing but cybernetic zombie in a hive trying in vain to assimilate all your previous friends is a lot scarier than becoming a bad boy. 9. There is so much star trek that you can never be without an episode, there will always be more fun adventures you can take and more discovering to do, you can know everything about star wars in ten hours. That just seems a little boring to me. 8. Star Trek has amazing beautiful ships that inspire you to create more, not just flat boring wedges or horse shoe shaped pieces of junk 7. Everything that is in star trek is at least plausible, star wars go all out on fantasy with no baring in reality. They just create stuff which looks good and don't even try to explain it. 6. Star wars is far to digital to the point where they actually have digital actors, CGI looks so fake and cartoon-ish it is unfunny. And I hate it when movies insist on using it, models look so much better 5. Gorge Lucus does not want to release the original trilogy on DVD he does not like the format, and didn't even want to release episode one on DVD but wanted to keep it on VHS. And when he did it was released horribly, as one reviewer put it "this is an awful transfer of the film that should never have seen the light of day, and makes a blatant joke of the THX Certification"* 6. Gorge Lucus wants to make the episode 3 *totally* CGI 5. Patrick Stewart is a much better actor than any of the star wars actors, he started out acting Shakespeare and is much more intelligent individual than Mark Hamill, who’s credits do not incidentally include Shakespeare but notably Scooby Doo, batman and Bruno the Kid: The Animated Movie 4. Star Wars is not Science fiction, Science fiction is defined as "any fiction, often set in the future that uses scientific facts or theories in an imaginative way" Star wars does neither it just puts star ships in a dog fight reminiscent of WW2 dog fights, evidence again to lack of original ideas used throughout this franchise. 3. Star wars is for kids, star trek is for adults. Apart from the infinitely more complex ideas dealt with in star trek if you go into any toy shop you will see oversized light sabers, action figures and toy ships. Not a phaser or a tricorder in sight. Maybe a voyager model kit in the young adult section but nothing more. 2. Star Trek is a blueprint for the future, how we can become a better civilization and how we can set aside our petty differences, as a result trekkers are a bunch peace loving, culture accepting people. Star Wars fans are not Finally the first reason why star trek kicks star wars ass: Star Trek deals with complex issues that nobody else wants to deal with, they touch sensitive cases and interesting plot lines, star wars just flashes lights. And hence it takes a little bit more intellect to deal with. *Quote of review taken from Michael D's Region 4 DVD info page: http://www.michaeldvd.com.au/ The actual article is here http://www.michaeldvd.com.au/Articles/Articles.asp under: "Stars Wars: The Phantom Menace - Widescreen VHS Review" --- Well that ends my "Say no to Star Wars" series, I hope you have enjoyed it and you can now understand where I am coming from. I could go on for another fifty issues outlining all my points but to tell you the truth I am getting bored with the subject, and I want to concentrating on writing about things that actually deserve my attention. ======================================================================== Addendum (C) Steak May 2002 ========================================================================